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just been checking over my setting and found this:
so my question is,
how to i get the other 2 options back?, had them about an hour ago
That must be in the normal facebook app and not facebook inside xperia ?
i have a up to date facbook app installed if thats what u mean,
and only option i have in facebook app is to sync contacts
Go to Settings > Apps > Manage apps > All (tab).
Scroll to the bottom here and you will find a plugin called Facebook CalendarSync. Tap on it and then tap on Activate. Voila! 
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thx, i ended up repairing the phone va the pc software